For as long as I can remember – I’ve had one dental hygienist monitoring my molars.

 

 

She was excellent at her job, she took considerable interest in my oral practices, she made my gums tingle and teeth shine with a smile on her face.

 

 

 

 

Say hello to my wonderful, caring, and skilled-with-sharp-instruments sister, Jane. After 40 years of drilling, scraping, and watching patients spit blood, last night’s dinner, and chunky gunk into her chair side spittoon, she’s hanging up her white jacket, surgical mask, and protective gloves. That’s deserving of either a gold tooth or gold watch?!

 

 

 

 

If you took a Pittsburgh survey – 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend Jane for patients who chew on bad things and need a hygienist. That fifth dentist must have been on a fluoride high if he didn’t vote for my big sis?! Over time patients grew to adore her and always come back for another flossing lesson and polish. Even though she wasn’t responsible for certain procedures, you know how it can be like “pulling teeth” to get some folks to go to the dentist?!

 

 

 

 

She told me a story many, many bicuspids ago about a male patient who had developed a crush. The guy sat down in her chair after eating a tray of Oreo cookies. His chompers were a black-and-white gooey gruel. He just wanted a few extra minutes in her presence. She politely brushed him off!

 

 

 

 

 

As a kid, we didn’t have video games or Netflix. Our entertainment was baseball cards that came in packs. Inside those packs were thin sticks of bubble gum. That gum was pink gold that melted in your mouth. I bought lots of packs. I chewed lots of gum. Combine all that nasty sugar with the chewy delights (green spearmint leaves and red dollars) Dad brought home every Friday from Woolworth’s and I became a dentist’s dream.

 

 

 

 

 

 

By high school I had more cavities than the Grand Canyon. I had enough silver in my mouth to claim mining rights. Luckily, Dad worked at U.S. Steel and had an excellent dental plan. Luckily, Jane graduated from the University of Pittsburgh’s School of Dental Medicine and took me in as her guinea pig, errrr, new patient. No sibling rivalry. It was a match made in Crest heaven.

 

 

 

 

When I think about 40 years, four or five days a week, in various dental offices and working for several dentists – these are my periodontal thoughts about Jane’s deep-rooted career:

• How many mouths has she poked around in?
• How many teeth has she scraped and cleaned?
• How much bad breath has she endured?
• How many pounds of plaque has she removed?
• How many miles of floss has she used?
• How many gallons of tooth polish has she slathered on?
• How many X-rays has she taken (“Okay miss, let me put on this heavy bib…..open wide…..bite down…..hold steady…..zap. Good, let’s do that four more times.”)?
• How many patients have cried, passed out, or wet themselves in her chair?

 

 

 

 

 

 

The answers have to be daunting. We’ll never know. She’ll never tell. Too bad – I smell a book deal.

There’s a very important sidebar to Jane’s story. She performed her dental duties over the past 26.5 years with transplanted kidneys (that significant segment of her life is another story for another time). She’s a remarkable renal success story. She has the battle scars and medical acumen to prove it.

 

 

 

The second very important sidebar to Jane’s story has been the United States Transplant Games. These were Olympic-style Games where all the athletes were transplant recipients (kidneys, hearts, lungs, livers, pancreas, intestines, and bone marrow) that gathered every two years to challenge themselves and show the world the importance of organ donation.

 

 

 

Since the late 1980’s, Jane traveled to a slew of cities to compete in singles-and-doubles tennis and table tennis. She has drawers full of Gold, Silver, and Bronze medals that attest to her healthiness and competitive spirit. It’s pretty amazing to see your sister on the Gold Medal stand flanked by two other athletes. I highly recommend it. Once I was asked to place the Gold around her neck. I was honored. There were tears.

 

 

 

 

 

I believe Jane found the Games inspirational and motivational. She was with her peers – all of whom were grateful for a second chance at life. Powerful stuff. Mom and I got to attend many of the Games and befriend many of those same women and men. Not all of them are still around. That’s tough.

 

 

 

 

Memories aside, my favorite dental diva has packed up her instrument case and doled out her final toothbrush. What’s up, doc? Not Jane on weekday mornings. Can’t think of a better person who has earned retirement status – matinee movies, running errands and lunching at her leisure, shining up her Passport and traveling (wink wink!) to Kelowna.

 

 

 

 

I’m extremely proud of her. She found her calling early and stuck with it through a myriad of medical challenges. Rarely did she complain or not show up for work. That’s a true warrior. That’s my phenomenal big sister. She deserves a plaque – the kind that goes on her den wall.