Could this possibly be my one chance to become a social-media influencer?!

A trendsetter. A MrBeast wannabe. TikTok. A bald-and-beautiful Boomer who every morning goes black-and-white and crème-ed all over?

But first – how do you start off your mornings? Coffee. Tea. Protein shake. Flavored water. Dr. Pepper. Cap’n Crunch. Tony the Tiger?

Not me. As soon as I roll out of the sack and make the bed I head straight to the fridge and pull out my morning glory – a MEGA STUF Oreo. No milk. Just a cooled chocolate sandwich cookie that is satisfyingly delicious and provides a crunchy kickoff to the day.

It works. But take notes. I only only only chomp MEGA STUF. Family Size. Maybe it’s the spelling? These Nabisco narcissists are fatter than their store-shelf brethren and have less in a package. No worries. STUF happens. Calories phooey. One stinkin’ cookie, sometimes two when I’m feelin’ naughty, is my pre-breakfast-of-champions and I’m stickin’ with it.

Go ahead – give it a meta try. Visit your neighborhood cookie aisle. Lots of choices. Don’t be fooled. Get STUF-ed. A couple bites and you’ll be MEGA-sold. You Reddit here first.

Occasionally I’ll break rank and indulge in some MEGA-STUF-and-milk in the evening. Heaven. When that cocoa crisp gets mushy on the spoon it’s liquid gold. Reminds me of my youth when we would twitter our taste buds with the Hydrox brand.

I’m gonna send this blog post to Nabisco and make an Insta request. Maybe in my culinary honor the company will create a JI-MEGA STUF package just for me? One specially designed package. Worth a shot. You can never get enuf STUF.