Elaine recently approached me with a request that was deeply important to her.

She asked if I would create a blog post this Christmas season commemorating the anniversary of when her son Christopher died. As a reminder to everyone – Elaine’s 10-year-old son, who was also a brother and grandson, died in a car accident on December 22, 1997.

 

 

 

 

 

Of course, my response was an emphatic “YES” before she even finished her sentence. Not only would this mean a great deal to Elaine, it would also provide me additional insight into the Christopher story.

Everyone in the family was asked to dig deep into their memory banks and come up with their favorite Christopher memories and cherished anecdotes. You know – turn thoughts into words. Stand and deliver. Here are the early responders:

Mom Elaine:

Because Christopher died at Christmas time, I knew right away that I wanted to have a holiday tree for him where I could place an ornament every year in his remembrance. Some of the ornaments share special events that took place during the year and some are all about the things that Christopher loved through little-boy eyes. This year we placed the 18^th ornament on Christopher’s Tree. There is a specific place for his “Baby’s 1^st Christmas” ornament from 1987, and a couple of paper ornaments he made in school. Putting up Christopher’s Tree is a ritual of love and the most precious Christmas decoration in our home.

 

 

 

We have two basketball ornaments on the tree…Christopher’s athletic passion. We had a full court in the back yard with hoops at both ends and he spent hours out there. He was a huge Utah Jazz fan – particularly Karl Malone. One of his gifts the year he died was a Malone jersey. We buried Christopher in it. He would have been very happy with that choice.

 

 

 

There is a little guitar on the tree. One year Christopher was adamant he wanted to learn how to play. The guitar was a birthday gift and off he went for lessons. Didn’t last for long, but for a moment in time, he was a musician! With very sore fingers, as I recall.

 

 

 

The kitten ornament on the tree represents Christopher’s cat Ninja. He loved his cat and walked around with Ninja cradled in his arms all the time. He did a project at school once about his cat and was so proud to be able to take Ninja to school with him on presentation day.

 

 

 

There is a little silver heart on the tree…I remember well when Christopher had a crush on a little girl in his class. He bought her a pair of earrings and gave them to her for Valentine’s Day. I will never forget the grin on his face when he came home sharing with us that she liked the gift and, more importantly, “she likes me!” Young love.

 

 

 

 

There have been two precious thoughts that were shared with me when Christopher died by very special and wise people. They will probably never know the comfort their thoughts have given me over the years.

• When the emotions and feeling of loss weigh heavy and the tears flow freely, it is because Christopher is right next to you – spirit-to-spirit connection. I have always loved this thought and cherish every tear and every feeling knowing he knows how much I love him.
• I was told: “As his mother, you gave him all the love and care he needed in order to move on in his spiritual journey. He can help you better now from another place and will always be there for you.”

Although Christopher died at Christmas time, I have always been grateful for the special feeling of love and kindness in the air around the holidays and for the beautiful lights and peaceful music. It is all conducive to a very spiritual time of year to remember my little boy. Gratitude is everywhere.

 

 

 

 

Christopher idolized his big brothers – all 3 of them…Mike, Kevin, and Nathan. He wanted to be just like them. I remember when the older boys got a buzz cut, he had to have one, too. He cut off all his beautiful strawberry-blonde hair! He was best friends with his little sister, Erin. They were joined at the hip. He took good care of her. In the viewing room before the funeral started, nine-year-old Erin stood on a stool next to Christopher and held his hand as he lay at rest. To the very end, his little sister was by his side. It has always been a very special moment for me that their bond and love was so strong and literally transcended death.

 

 

 

Christopher had such a kind heart. He never wanted to hurt anyone. He had the sweetest smile and most generous soul. His happiness was contagious. His eyes really did twinkle! For a 10-year-old, he seemed like a bit of an old soul. All-knowing.

 

 

 

Not a night would go by when it was bedtime that Christopher wanted me to sit next to him on his bed where we shared a ritual exchange of hugs and kisses. He would tell me he loved me and I would tell him, “Don’t ever grow up, Christopher. I love you just the way you are.”

Christopher’s 5^th-grade classmates sang “Angels Among Us” at his funeral. It holds very special memories for our family.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCYFPMjCgKA

Christopher, we love and miss you every day. You are never forgotten, not even for a moment. I feel your presence often, most vividly in my dreams. I wake up from those dreams, as real as life itself, with a knowing feeling in my arms that I have just had them wrapped tightly around you and shared precious moments with you….

Grandma Audrey:

Good morning, I was lying in bed wondering what I could write about the Christopher’s ornaments. A rush of emotion swept in and steered me to my desktop:

Silver Bell – as I was shopping a few days after Christmas 1997, I saw The Bell. This, I thought, would be a wonderful way for us to remember our dear Christopher who had so recently returned to his heavenly home. A bell chimes, recalling to our mind things of importance that we need to focus our thoughts on. This bell would be significant, it is not only any bell, this bell is a silver bell. Silver is a chemical element, translated from the Indo-European root – grey or shining. It is a soft, white lustrous transition metal. Scientists have their own interpretation of a transition metal, but in this case I prefer my own thoughts. Christopher transitioned from this earthly life to a life eternal, a life free of the trials of mortality, a life where he is able to fulfill his destiny. As the silver bell is polished and burnished to a gleaming brightness, it serves to remind us of how precious a child this is and will always be in our hearts, especially at this Christmas season. [The inscription reads ‘Christmas 1997. Our 1st Christmas Without You.’]

 

 

 

The Angel – I made the angel not knowing how significant it would be in calling to our remembrance our sweet angel Christopher. We like to think of him as our Guardian Angel. A guardian angel is an angel assigned to protect and guide a particular person or group. We like to think of Christopher as the guardian angel of our family, (in particular, his mother Elaine) along with his uncle, Douglas. How blessed we are to have two angels watching over us. Any tears we shed are not tears of sadness anymore, but tears of joy for the life of our very own angels whose time with us was so short, we know we will meet again.

 

 

 

In the meantime, we cling on to the Silver Bell and The Angel as tangible reminders of our sweet Christopher.

The words I have written, were not difficult to write, they seemed to just flow. I’d like to think I was inspired. God bless you, Elaine, and thanks for asking me to do this. Much love, Mom.

Brother Nathan:

I’m not sure if this is what you looking for. I listened to “Angels Among Us” and it definitely struck a nerve.  It was kinda hard. It all brought back a lot of stuff I haven’t thought about much in a long time.  I love you.

I think of the great memories of Christopher, but along with that comes difficult emotions.

He was the kindest kid I ever met. His heart and soul were so innocent and pure.  Chris was the type that if someone was upset and hurting he would feel that pain and try to make you feel better. I’ll never forget growing up and sharing a room with him.  Playing on our Fisher-Price basketball hoop for hours. Scaring him with a Scream mask in the middle of the night while he slept.  And then the screams that ensued!

 

 

 

 

He was such a huge basketball fan.  He loved Karl Malone and the Utah Jazz.  I remember when he played basketball, I was able sit on the bench and be an assistant coach for his team.  I’ll always cherish the times I was able to cheer him on during all his games.

 

 

 

 

Chris was always such a great little brother.  I miss him every day, but he always makes me smile.

Sister Erin:

As I sit here trying to think of my big brother, every God given emotion tends to kick in and bleed out.

Christopher was and always will be my protector. He was always there for me at home and at school. We played basketball together, had snowball fights at the bus stop together, jumped on the trampoline together, and at times, got into trouble together.

One distinct and fun memory I have is when we decided to bring a baseball game (you step on the plate and a baseball would shoot into the air so you could hit it with the bat) into the house since it got too cold and too dark outside. We had the bright idea to bring it into his bedroom, step on the plate, and turn off the lights.

As I was hiding under the bed while Chris was up to hit the ball, I heard a big crash. Sure enough, the ball hit and broke the window. We were so scared we would get in trouble, we went downstairs and joined my other brothers while they watched television acting like nothing happened. Let’s just say, we eventually got in trouble.

Chris always knew how to light up a room no matter what the mood was. My brother’s death taught me that life is too short not to be happy. Seventeen years after his death, my brother still teaches me to be a better person, and no matter what, he will always be my guardian angel.